vrijdag 26 mei 2017

A Quick Guide to Molvanian Delicacies

Molvania is famous for its rich variety of culinary delicacies, especially when it comes to colour. We have food in all colours, ranging from succulent red to peppery green over repungent grey and tasty white.

On the picture you will find some molvanian delicacies, from left to right:

* Juhe: something that closely resembles soup : a thick broth of water, parsnip and animal fat. Depending on the area (and the price) it may also contain fish or meat (or both)

* tortilje/zavatki: a truly Molvanian speciality, these are stuffed water tortoises. Stuffings include pickle, tortoise, spam and bacon strips. Just put your teeth around the tortoise shell and start sucking away

* sendvici: a delicacy that can only be found in Molvania : toasted bread with some meat in the middle. A clever invention by Lord Sendvic in 1976 when playing golf in the Great Molvanian plains. The British and Americans have tried to copy it, but failed dismally

* solatni jedi: litteraly translated "Jedi's salad", it is a meal typically prepared for members of the religious Jedi order. Since these monks have sworn total abstinence, the bowls are often served empty.

* ocvrte jedi: another delicious Jedi meal, consisting of an empty frying pan that was used for cooking eggs. With a bit of luck there is still some egg yolk sticking to the bottom.

* sladice : it looks like a cake with a cherry on top. And that is exactly what you will get. Fillings include pickle, horse radish (with real horse pieces) or turnips

* svezi sokovi : vegetarian drinks made from vegetable-like ingredients. May contain traces of nuts, fiber, hair and pickle.

* sadni cocktailli : Molvanian cocktails don't have a big reputation, but that is a pity. One of the greatest experiences is drinking a glass of Strumz (parsnip vodka) mixed with some other alcoholic beverage. Guaranteed to open up parties.

* Caji & Kave : not to be mistaken with ordinary tea and coffee, these hot beverages need an acquired taste. The taste of tobacco and sawdust for example.

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